ブログ

Brenna The Angel

RSS

This adorable little angel is 25 today! (TWENTY FIVE!!) Such an honor to be her parents. She is an amazing big sister example to her sibs. Still. Love her! Miss her! Every. Day. Happy Birthday, Brenna!

 

"Verschlungen ist der Tod vom Sieg.
Tod, wo ist dein Sieg? Tod, wo ist dein Stachel? … 
Gott aber sei Dank, der uns den Sieg geschenkt hat durch Jesus Christus, unseren Herrn."
-1 Korinther 15: 51-57
Weil Jesus Christus den Tod überwunden hat, werden wir es auch. Ich kann mit meiner Familie für die Ewigkeit sein.
//
"Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?...
But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
Because Jesus Christ overcame death, so will we. I can be with my family for eternity.

 

Elder Kaleb Augat

 

 

 

Happy 24 Brenna! Happy to know that families are forever!

 

 

Almost 24 years ago, this little angel changed my and Gordon 's lives forever. We were parents for the first time. It was so wonderful and sometimes hard. We learn so much from our firstborn that molds us into who we are. (Lucky Hannah!) Then, 14 1/2 years ago, our lives unexpectedly changed again with her brain tumor diagnosis. We never knew how strong we would need to be or how much we would need God during that fight. That was the hardest thing ever! I thought. Until, 10 years ago today, November 5th, at 7am, our lives changed forever, again, and our sweet little angel returned to live with Jesus. That was the hardest thing ever. But, the gospel is where my faith lies-that we will see her and hug her again. This is why I CTR. Love you to the moon, my little angel! Happy Heavenly Birthday, Brenna!

Mom

True meaning of why we celebrate Easter. My favorite time of the year because of the following message sent to us by Aaron, Brenna's brother, while on his mission in Peru.

So the church released a new video called ´"Hallelujah´" if you haven´t already seen it.  It´s a cool video about Easter when we remember the life of Jesus Christ and most of all that He lives today.  A lot of people remember his death, and although it´s important, it´s even more important to remember that  He lives.

 

Today we celebrate Brenna's 23rd birthday. I can't think of better way to celebrate then to go to the temple. We know she is busy doing missionary work and watching over her family. She has been on that mission now for 9 years. So our gift to her is temple work. I love her tons and miss her every day. Can't wait until I am reunited with my missionary.

 

Happy 22, Brenna Boo! In her honor, we went to the temple last Saturday and performed baptisms. I'm sure a few of those are being taught by my missionary on the other side. Love her! Missing a lot of my kids right now. But, grateful for the promise of FOREVER FAMILIES!

It was a beautiful night and full moon. It's tradition in our family to release purple balloons. It's been 8 years since she passed away. She was 2 months shy of her 14th birthday. I guess you can say Racquel Augat and I are parents of 2 missionaries. Brenna has been called to the Spirit World and has been serving for 8 years and Aaron Augat is serving in Cusco, Peru and is going on 15 days. Love you and miss you tons Brenna. Can't wait to see you again.

Today we celebrate what would have been Brenna's 20th birthday. Great day to wear purple and eat cheese cake. Love you Brenna!

Can't believe it has been 6 years. The last couple of weeks have been very difficult. Sometimes I wish I was where Brenna is right now.

Love this picture of Brenna when she was 2.  To me, this picture is an expression of Christ like love (charity). She just looks at you and loves you.  Does not matter who you are or what you have done, she just loves you and wants you to be happy. Even when she went through pain and suffereing, she still thought of others. That pretty much sums up Brenna.

I miss you more than ever! Love you Brenna!

Our sweet neighbors have lost two of their four children.  They can and did share the same thoughts and feelings as we have on Brenna's Heavenly Birthday.  Thanks Stacie for wording it so perfectly and letting me plagiarize....(re-worded for our sweet angel)...

5 years ago today, a part of my heart was broken that has never healed....I love you Brenna and miss you every single day. I try to remember that even though each day is one day further from the last time I saw you, it's one day closer to the next time I will.

Thank heaven for my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation.  Can't imagine losing a loved one without it.  

This past year has been the hardest for me because I totally pictured her in high school.  She may have limped a little from her atrophy but walking down the halls without her oxygen.  She would have been so beautiful with her long blonde curly hair (she loved to dye it red in middle school.)  She would brighten everyone's day and made people smile and laugh every time she walked into a room.  She would be all the teachers' pet and have been voted Homecoming queen.  She would have gotten straight A's, of course.

Kenney Chesney wrote a song that makes me bawl like a baby every time I hear it.  "Who You'd Be Today"   It is so sweet.  Love the very last line the most.

We visit Brenna's gravesite every year on Memorial Day.  We take flowers and maybe balloons.  We love to see the gathering of flora that others have left in memory of our sweet angel.  It means so much to us that others still remember her.  But, really, we don't visit the gravesite much more often than in May, November 5th and January 5th.  When we do go visit, it is just a motion.  We know that she is not there.  She is off doing a wonderful missionary work, busy as a bee.  She used to always tell us she wanted to serve a mission in Mexico.  When she passed away, that same week, there was a large club in Mexico that burned down and killed many people.  Gordon mentioned that she must be really excited to share her stong testimony with those spirits from Mexico just entering the spirit world.  I'm sure she converted them with her sweet smile and loving personality.  We miss everything about her.  When we do want to feel her near, it is not at Wasatch Lawns.  She is in our home.  She is with us always.  And when we want to really feel her spirit, we go to the temple.  Her mortal body lay in wait of a wonderful morning when it will be reunited with her sweet spirit again.  I can't wait to see her again and hug her and look into her beautiful blue eyes and hear her laugh like she always did.  We love you Brenna!

Happy 18th Brenna even though time does not really matter for you anymore. Today your mom and I are going to the temple to celebrate your birthday. I'm sure you will be there.

 
4 years ago today (on a Sunday), Racquel went to wake Brenna to help get her ready for church. I remember laying in my bed. I felt really peaceful, but something did not seem right. Then I heard Racquel yelling for me to come to Brenna's room. I knew something was wrong. I ran to her room. Brenna was laying on her bed lifeless. I immediately began CPR like I had done many times before, but this time it did not seem to be working. Racquel called 911. Soon the paramedics arrived and they took over. I stepped out of Brenna's room. I remember looking into Brenna's room seeing Brenna's body laying on the floor while the paramedics tried to revive her. Thinking to myself, "Why is this happening?" I went down stairs and told my kids what just happened and I think that Brenna just passed away. My brother and Bishop came over and helped us through these moments. The paramedics took Brenna to the Jordan Valley Hospital. Racquel and I drove to the hospital. One of the people at the hospital met with Racquel and me in one of the rooms and told us that Brenna had died. I can honestly say that was the worst day of my life. The days that shortly followed were difficult as well. Lots of emotions. Lots of things to ponder. Lots of questions.
 
I remember thinking in the days that followed, "Where was my miracle, where was God's mercy and love?" As I think back, we have had many miracles. The day that Brenna was born was a miracle. The day that she came out of her self-induced coma was a miracle. That happened on a Fast Sunday and our ward had a special fast. Many prayers and fasts were answered that day. That was a miracle. The many times she recovered from stays in the hospital were miracles. One time during the Christmas season, someone showed up on our door and said some person told me to give this to you. It was an envelope full of money. That was a miracle. Racquel and I wanted to get Brenna a powered wheelchair but money was tight. One day, Racquel was pushing Brenna across the street in a manual wheelchair. A stranger that was driving by, stopped and talked to Racquel. He said that his father had just passed away and had a powered wheelchair (barely used). This man gave Brenna that powered wheelchair. That was a miracle. Brenna got a 4.0 on her last report card. That was a miracle. All the support from family and friends. Those are miracles. I could go on and on. 
 
I want to mention one other miracle...Jesus's atoning sacrifice, death and resurrection. I can't even imagine the suffering that the Savior endured in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the Doctrine and Covenants it says, "Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink".
 
In the Book of Mormon we read the following. 
 
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities".
 
Jesus went through this because it was the will of His Father and because of His great love for us. In the New Testament we read of God's love for us, "for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life"
 
So where is my miracle? Where is God's love and mercy? Because of God the Father and Jesus and what they did for me and my family, I will see Brenna again and we will be an eternal family. We will all rise from the grave. On that day I will once again hold in my arms my sweet Brenna. That is a miracle, perhaps the greatest of all miracles and the greatest demonstration of love and mercy.
 
Typically one would say "God be with you (Brenna) until we meet again". But I know that Brenna has been "taken home to that God who gave [her] life" and that she has been "received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where [she] shall rest from all [her] troubles and from all care, and sorrow." So I think it would be more appropriate to say "God be with us until we meet again".
 
Brenna, I love you!

It's probably no surprise that Easter has become my favorite Holiday. On this day we remember that Jesus defeated death by His Resurrection. What does this mean for me and my family? Even though death physically separates us from Brenna, we know that it will not be forever. There will be a day when we will be reunited with Brenna. I think about that reunion every day. It is Jesus and His Resurrection that will make that day a reality for our family. That is what Easter means for our family.

On a slightly different topic. I really enjoyed Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk on priesthood blessings and healing the sick. I have given Brenna many priesthood blessings. She has benefited from these blessings and I feel that it has helped her and even extended her life. However, there are times when I ask myself why I could not heal her completely and save her from death. Was I not worthy enough? Did I not exercise enough faith? General Conference and specifically Elder Oaks helped me realize a few important things. There was an abundance of faith to heal Brenna when I consider the following...

  • the many people (family and friends) that have prayed and fasted for her
  • the many times she has been on the temple prayer roll
  • the couple of times that I know of where she had been on the prayer roll of the First Presidency (Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson, James E. Faust)

There is no doubt in my mind that there was enough faith. Was I worthy? I am by no means perfect, but I feel that I try to live the Gospel as best I can. I always feel that there is room for improvement. We all have sin and we all fall short of the Glory of God. Where I fall short, I have my Saviour to make up for the difference as long as I repent and improve. 

Elder Oaks reminded me that It was Brenna's time to return to her Heavenly Father. It was His Will.

So knowing that it was the will of Heavenly Father that she return to Him and knowing that I will see Brenna again because of Jesus Christ and His Resurrection helps lift the burden of her death. The message of Easter brings peace and hope in our home.

Now, there is not a moment that goes by where I don’t mourn the loss of my daughter. But because of the Resurrection, Joseph Smith said, that “we do not mourn as those without hope.” Brigham Young added, “But could we have knowledge and see into eternity, if we were perfectly free from the weakness, blindness, and lethargy with which we are clothed in the flesh, we should have no disposition to weep or mourn (DBY, 370). All of us can become renewed and strengthened by the blessings of the Resurrection. The sons of Mosiah demonstrated this courage. Their conviction of the future resurrection of Jesus gave them courage to face death with no fear. The scriptures record, “They never did look upon death with any degree of terror, for their hope and views of Christ and the resurrection; therefore, death was swallowed up to them by the victory of Christ over it” (Alma 27:28). 

From the first time that Brenna slipped into a semi unconscious state (Brenna was in a semi coma for about 2 weeks the first time) and during the several times it happened to her up until her passing, I can't help but think that Brenna was embraced by God's love. And every time but the last time she came back to us.

The following is from her Uncle Karl's talk at her funeral. 

"The lord states in D&C 6: 20:

20 …Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love. 
 
I can not help but think that every time she left us she ran into his loving arms, he counseled her, he comforted her, he said “Brenna I love you!” she returned again to her mortal home to touch our tender hearts one more time and remind us that our heavenly father loves us and wishes us to return home knowing we did all we could do in this life."
 
Thanks Brenna and I love you!

Today we celebrated Brenna's 17th birthday by going to the Jordan River Temple. We always have a unique and spiritual experience when we go on Brenna's birthday; probably because we know Brenna is with us. Today, the entire session was not only in audio/video but also in sign language since there was a big group of deaf people. It was amazing and the deaf people were a great example to me. I'm sure Brenna loved it.

Happy Birthday Brenna! We love and miss you.

Recent Blogs